SC Logo
Home / Blog: Time to destigmatize / Supporting a Partner with Chronic Illness

Supporting a Partner with Chronic Illness

Supporting a Partner with Chronic Illness

Chronic illnesses affect a lot of people nowadays. Reports show that around 129 million people in the US are suffering from at least one chronic condition like cancer, heart disease, etc. The true impact of chronic conditions is even bigger, especially when we take into account the spouses and partners who are taking care of them.

If your partner has received a chronic illness diagnosis, there are things you can do to manage the situation correctly. This is what we will delve into in more detail in this post.

How Chronic Illness Affects Daily Life

Chronic illness typically refers to ailments that certain individuals have been suffering from for a long time and for which there is no distinct cure. In some cases the condition is manageable with specific actions and treatments.

In the legal context, people are considered ‘chronically ill’ if they are unable to carry on with regular activities for more than 90 days and have a certain level of disability that requires extensive care. Those with identifiable signs of disability can opt for long-term medical care, insurance support and more. However people who are chronically ill may not always show outward signs of sickness and can carry on with their regular activities well.

Common Characteristics of Chronic Illnesses:

Those dealing with a chronic illness have the following things in common:

  • They can manage their condition with medications and lifestyle changes but cannot completely cure it.
  • These individuals may find it difficult to carry out their normal daily activities as their symptoms get worse.
  • They may experience the same symptoms continuously- it reduces or increases in intensity but does not disappear.
  • These individuals feel pain and fatigue constantly, especially as their condition worsens.
  • They may require specialized treatment and care from different healthcare providers to tackle different aspects of their ailment.
  • Individuals with a chronic illness have a higher risk for depression.

As a caregiver you should learn more about the specific issues your partner is dealing with and plan personalized care for them accordingly. You can adjust your strategies depending on their needs, the severity of their condition and more.

What Constitutes a Chronic Illness?

Specific health issues fall under the definition of “chronic illness.” These include both conditions that can result in a disability and those that don’t have any outwardly visible symptoms.

  • Arthritis
  • Asthma
  • Heart disease
  • COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)
  • HIV/AIDS
  • Depression
  • Lung cancer
  • Stroke
  • Colorectal cancer
  • Chronic kidney disease
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Cystic fibrosis
  • Osteoporosis
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Crohn’s disease

To Get Help With Chronic Illness – check programs available under the Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA).

Tips to Help Your Partner with Chronic Illness

Here is what you can do to provide effective emotional support to your partner dealing with chronic illness.

Keep open communication

Communication is very important to sustain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. In the difficult situation of a chronic illness diagnosis, it is especially important to keep channels of communication open. Talk to your partner honestly about your stress, worries and concerns. At the same time create an accepting environment for them where they can feel comfortable expressing their fears and frustration. Ultimately work as a team to tackle this new development in your life.

Research About The Condition More

Take time and effort to educate yourself about the condition that your partner is dealing with. Read resources about the illness available online and offline. Moreover, you can consult with a healthcare professional or join communities to get more knowledge about the disease, what to expect and suitable treatment suggestions.

Be Patient With Your Partner

Talk clearly to your partner about their feelings, symptoms, expectations and needs. In many cases the person experiencing a chronic illness may not recognize or understand the exact symptoms they are feeling or side effects. You should be patient with your partner. Listen with an open mind when they vent to you about how they are feeling emotionally and physically.

Participate With Them In Support Groups

Having a good and wide support network can greatly help people manage the mental toll of chronic illnesses. So prioritize building that for your partner and take an active role in it.

You can attend support groups and seminars with your partner to provide them with ample social and emotional support. You can also tag along with them for doctor’s appointments to give them company. During these meetings, you can ask your own questions to their doctor to better understand what your partner is going through.

Tackle The Financial Concerns With Professional Help

Chronic illnesses are a long-term issue. So, it is safe to assume that you may experience financial strain over time, from high medicine costs to loss of stable income. You should seek the help of a professional financial advisor to prepare a suitable financial plan for your family

Be Supportive And Encouraging

Getting diagnosed with a chronic illness can have a negative impact on anyone’s psyche. This on top of experiencing the symptoms themselves may cause your partner more stress. At such a time you should encourage and support them. Help your spouse make the lifestyle changes the doctor recommended.

For example, if your partner loves sweet food but got diagnosed with diabetes, switch to cooking meals without sugar. Switch to sugar-free alternatives so that they can transition smoothly into healthier habits. Participate with them in their efforts so they do not feel like they are losing out on anything.

Grow Your Circle For Emotional Support

Dealing with chronic illness can become an isolating experience for both the individual suffering from it and those around them. You should take measures to avoid that for both your and your partner’s sake. Plan get-togethers with your family and friends for social support and respite from your stressful situation. Encourage your partner to join groups, interact with their social circle and participate in communal activities. It can keep them engaged and avoid feeling depressed.

Resources:

If you or your partner are having depressive thoughts avail the appropriate resources for support:

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): www.nami.org

Impact of Chronic Illness on Relationships

Caring for a loved one who is dealing with a chronic illness does have a significant effect on family members. Spouses especially experience certain challenges like:

  • Emotional strain from seeing your partner in pain or stress, like feeling helpless, sad and frustrated.
  • Physically getting exhausted while taking care of the daily caregiving needs of their partner while balancing their professional, household and personal duties.
  • Feeling a sense of loneliness while missing out on social activities.
  • Dealing with financial stress from managing high medical bills.
  • Difficulty balancing communication and intimacy with their partner while in a caregiver-patient relationship.

Focusing on your mental and physical health while caring for your partner is also important. So, take certain measures that can help you balance self-care and provide emotional support to your partner.

Resources for Financial Assistance:

Multiple funded programs are available for financial support with chronic illnesses:

Check what benefits you qualify for under Supplemental Security Income (SSI).

Apply for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) if eligible.

Research benefits and long-term care support available under Medicaid.

Coping Tips for Spouses and Caregivers

Take the following steps for self care while supporting your partner with chronic illness:

  • Join support groups and communities to discuss your experience with other caregivers and gain insight.
  • Seek therapy and advice from qualified counselors for your stress.
  • Openly discuss your feelings with your partner.
  • Decrease your workload with professional support or with help from other family members.
  • Indulge in self care practices like exercising, pursuing favorite hobbies and taking breaks when needed.

The Bottom Line

Getting diagnosed with chronic illness is not only stressful for the patient but also for their partners. You should take proper steps to support them at this time, both on your own and with additional help from your close circle.

Take care of your own health as well when carrying out your caregiving duties. Programs and communities are also available for financial and mental health support. Research your options and take the best step for you.

References:

https://www.cdc.gov/chronic-disease/about/index.html

https://www.cdc.gov/health-equity-chronic-disease/nccdphps-programs-to-address-social-determinants-of-health/index.html

https://www.usa.gov/social-security-disability

https://www.ssa.gov/disability

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/chronic-illness-mental-health

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/201708/7-keys-coping-loved-one-s-serious-illness?msockid=0bce6b00d9b461a70dd87f90d8e6604a

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/chronic-illness-seven-relationship-tips

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/chronically-me/202002/chronic-illness-and-relationships?msockid=0bce6b00d9b461a70dd87f90d8e6604a

https://www.medicinenet.com/how_can_i_help_my_partner_with_chronic_illness/article.htm

https://www.healthline.com/health/chronically-ill

https://mindbodycounselingreno.com/blog/relationships/how-to-be-a-supportive-partner-to-someone-with-chronic-illness/

https://www.psu.edu/news/health-and-human-development/story/chronic-pain-support-spouse-may-decrease-well-being-some-people

https://creakyjoints.org/support/how-to-support-someone-with-chronic-illness/

Authored By

shebna n osanmoh

Shebna N Osanmoh I, PMHNP-BC

Nov 29, 2024

Shebna N Osanmoh is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse
Practitioner with extensive experience across the mental health spectrum. Holding a Master’s in
Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing from Walden University, Shebna provides compassionate,
culturally sensitive care for a wide range of mental health conditions, emphasizing holistic and
individualized treatment approaches to support patients in their wellness journey.