Depression is a formidable adversary and supporting someone with major depressive disorder is a challenging journey that requires time, patience and unwavering commitment. If a loved one is fighting it, one would feel helpless, at a loss as to how to move ahead.

You may feel a very wide range of emotions when dealing with a loved one who is depressed: confusion, frustration, sadness or even anger. These feelings are completely understandable and justified. The way forward in supporting someone with depression is not always straightforward, but it is your effort that can really make a difference in their recovery.

Knowing about depression, its symptoms, effects and treatment options can help you offer constructive support. Learning about depression will be instrumental in understanding not only your loved one’s experience but also finding appropriate resources and strategies to help in the fight against it.

8 Strategies to Support a Loved One with Depression

Here are eight coping strategies to help you support your loved one through their depression:

1. Educate yourself about depression symptoms

The very first step in supporting a person effectively is understanding the illness. Learn about its causes, symptoms, and available treatments. As mentioned above, depression looks different in everyone.

However, here are some very common signs of it:

• Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness that won’t go away
• Irritability or angry outbursts, even over small things
• Loss of interest in things one used to enjoy
• Sleep disturbances- either insomnia or excessive sleeping
• Fatigue and loss of energy that makes one feel even the simplest tasks are impossible to do
• Changes in appetite or weight
• Physical symptoms for no apparent reason, such as headaches or back pain
• Anxiety or restlessness
• Slowed thinking, speaking, or body movements
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
• Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or paying attention to details

2. Offer unconditional support

Your presence and acceptance can be very comforting. Let them know you’re there to listen when they are ready to talk and when company alone is needed. Your continued support conveys a sense of stability throughout their difficult journey. Display patience and understanding; make them know they don’t face the battle alone.

3. Communicate openly

One of the most essential things in this respect is to be quite open and honest with your communication when offering support to a person living with depression. Share your feelings and thoughts while providing a safe space for your loved one to discuss theirs. Listen actively: Pay attention, understand their experiences, and validate their feelings. Urge them to get professional help where appropriate, stressing that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

4. Respect people’s boundaries

While your support is most appreciated, respect for personal space cannot be overemphasized. There will be times when those affected by depression need to spend some time alone either to think through some of the feelings or even find comfort in their isolation. It should not be taken as a personal issue against your efforts or care. Just respect their privacy and let them know you are always available whenever they are ready to discuss these issues or get help.

5. Encourage continuation of professional treatment

Gently encourage your friend or loved one to stay on treatment, live healthily, and avoid alcohol and drugs. It can be challenging for individuals with clinical depression to recognize their symptoms or the benefits of treatment. You can help by sharing your observations and concerns, explaining that depression is an illness—not a personal failing, and reminding them of available support systems.

6. Help with daily tasks

Experiences of depression can make everyday tasks overwhelming. Offer practical help with meal preparation, laundry, or grocery shopping. Sometimes, this small help makes a big difference. Encourage gentle social interaction and physical activity, but do not push them too hard if they report feeling overwhelmed.

7. Take suicide threats seriously

Recognizing and responding to suicidal thoughts is important. If your loved one expresses suicidal intent:

• Do not leave them alone
• Remove access to potential means of self-injury
• Call emergency services or a crisis hotline right away
• Ensure that you can’t keep such serious matters private; professional help is needed

8. Stay well

Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally exhausting. It’s just as important to do everything possible to look after yourself, too. Make time for what you enjoy, contact family and friends, and seek support. Remember, looking after yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential if you can continue supporting your loved one effectively.

Self-Care for Depression Caregivers

It can be very emotionally draining to care for someone who has depression. While all your focus goes to the loved one, it is very important to remember that your well-being is equally important. Here are some important tips to guide you through the challenges of being a depression caregiver:

Accept help gladly: Accepting help is not a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s a good way to strive for sustainable caregiving. Keep a list of specific tasks where others can help you with things like:

• Take your loved one for a regular walk
• Preparing meals for both you and your loved one
• Assisting with household chores

Manage medical appointments: Schedule and keep track of doctor’s appointments. Not only will this provide your loved one with more consistent care, but it can also give you a sense of control over the situation.

Focus on attainable goals: No one is a “perfect” caregiver. Instead of striving to meet an impossible ideal, focus on what you can realistically do. You believe in your efforts and do all you can in a difficult situation.

Break tasks down into smaller steps: Big responsibilities can be overwhelming. Break them down into smaller tasks. Make a list of which needs to be done first, and feel free to put off those that can wait. Try to stick to your daily routine as much as possible, and saying no to requests that might burden you further is okay.

Connect with resources: The more you know about services in your area, the more likely you are to find help for yourself and the person you care for. Look for classes, workshops, or seminars that can help you improve your caregiving skills. Many communities have services, such as respite care, meal delivery, or housekeeping aid for caregivers.

Join a support group: The mere knowledge that other people are going through similar experiences would be very helpful and reassuring. Support groups are an avenue to allow themselves in a safe environment to vent emotions, exchange coping strategies, and even make new friendships; they provide emotional support together with problem-solving advice.

Stay in touch with friends: Even though it consumes almost all your time, caregiving shouldn’t make you socially reclusive. Make time for regular meetings with friends or family, whether just over coffee or a simple walk. Such meetings can be a big relief emotionally and in terms of getting things into perspective.

Put time and effort into self-care: Your physical and mental health will greatly affect your capacity to care for someone else. Ensure you get enough rest, eat well, keep fit, and drink water. Simple acts of self-care can make significant differences in resiliency and energy levels.

How to Talk to Someone About Depression

Bringing up the topic of depression can be very intimidating. You may fear provoking anger or offense in the person or that they will dismiss your concern altogether. It is natural to be confused about what questions to ask or how effectively to offer support.

It is an illness that drastically changes a person’s thought patterns and behavior. One thing that most people need to know is that, in most cases, it is not the person but the illness talking when a depressed person says something mean or negative. The comments usually do not reflect a person’s actual feelings but are more of a symptom of the condition. Empathy and understanding are the keys to such situations.

Following are some guidelines on how to handle these conversations:

1. Language is compelling in creating attitudes and perceptions about mental health. Avoid stigmatizing terms or words that may put weight into these negative beliefs about depression. Use respectful language, encouraging and affirming their experiences.
2. Express your concern with “I” statements, like “I’ve noticed” or “I’m worried,” rather than accusations or assumptions.
3. When they do, give all your attention to them. Show that you listen through your body expression and ask questions for clarification.
4. This means acknowledging one’s feelings without judgment. Statements such as “That must be very difficult” or “I am here for you” are the kind of statements that soothe the feelings.
5. In contrast to “Let me know if you need anything.” Examples include, “Would you like me to come with you to your next appointment?”
6. Gently suggest they see a professional if they haven’t already. Be prepared to assist in finding resources or making an appointment if needed.
7. Healing from depression takes time. Changes or improvements will not occur right away. More important than anything else is your constant support over a prolonged period.
8. Learn about depression so you can better understand what might be happening to your loved one. That sort of knowledge may help you respond more appropriately and, simultaneously, more compassionately.

How to help someone with depression post-treatment

It’s a journey to be taken, not a destination, for treating depression. Even after a loved one has begun treatment, family and friend support remains paramount. Knowing how to identify improvement signs and when there could be a setback, you can administer your support where it is most needed.

Here’s how you can go on to help somebody with depression post-treatment:

Identify Signs of Treatment Progress

Recovery from depression sometimes occurs subtly. When your loved one begins to feel better, you will notice gradual changes in behavior and demeanor. These are very encouraging signals, not only for you but also for the individual.

Look out for the following:

1. More eye contact: They begin to hold your gaze more often, which indicates gaining confidence and reducing anxiety.
2. More frequent smiles: They may generally lighten up on facial expressions, hence looking less tense.
3. Calmer demeanor: They seem to be more at ease in general.
4. Increased social engagement: They will start reaching out to others for them and stop isolating themselves as much as they used to. They also undertake better self-care—resumption of healthy eating and sleeping patterns is a good sign.

Identifying Red Flags in Depression Treatment

Though there is the need to be hopeful, it is equally important to monitor signs that your loved one’s condition is not improving or that their condition is deteriorating. If you fail to see any positive change over time, you must re-evaluate the treatment approach. Especially the warning signs that indicate your loved one might be suicidal. These include:

• Talking about death or suicide, even in a casual or joking manner.
• Means to hurt themselves, like buying a gun or hoarding pills
• Talking often about violence, death, or dying
• Withdrawing from social relationships
• Feeling hopeless or trapped
• Saying goodbye in final ways
• Giving away important possessions suddenly or getting affairs in order

If you’ve noticed any of these signs, take them seriously. Gently begin a conversation with your loved one about whether or not they have had thoughts about harming themselves. It won’t make them consider it if they haven’t—it will let them know you are there to help.

Conclusion

Recovery from depression, as with most chronic illnesses, can take a winding course. Remembering that will help modulate your expectations and reduce frustration in case of setbacks. One must be aware that one is expected to experience sudden flare-ups of symptoms, which never reflect on failed treatment or support.

It is an act of love to stand by someone in depression, but it can be emotionally draining, too. Also, it is essential that the caregiver may need support as well. Do not hesitate to seek personal therapy if you find it difficult to cope with the mood swings of your loved one.

By caring for your mental health, you will be more ready to provide an uninterrupted, compassionate, and caring environment. Your empathy and patience can make all the difference in your loved one’s journey with depression.

Authored By

Shebna N Osanmoh I, PMHNP-BC

August 19, 2024

Shebna N Osanmoh is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner with extensive experience across the mental health spectrum. Holding a Master’s in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing from Walden University, Shebna provides compassionate, culturally sensitive care for a wide range of mental health conditions, emphasizing holistic and individualized treatment approaches to support patients in their wellness journey.