We are living in the most difficult times to raise our kids with good habits and health. We have been technologically blessed now, but our children are fighting with poor concentration due to addiction to smartphones and addictive gaming apps.

Most adults, including young kids, are addicted to watching short videos on social media platforms or playing games using various apps on the internet. Whereas social media utilization is worst amongst students and children, as they are losing their focus and attention, it is now the highest level of concern. These addictive behaviors are also affecting their mental health and overall growth.

The Bigger Picture of Digital Screens

Before we discuss the broader context, let’s take a step back and examine the big picture. How did we get here?

A World of Screens

From TV sets to computers to tablets and, most of all, smartphones, our kids are growing up in a world that is always connected. Recent studies show that by age 11, almost half of all kids have their own smartphone, and by the time they’re teenagers, that number soars to more than 80%.

The Allure of the Small Screen

What makes these devices such an attraction? Not one factor alone:

• Social media puts kids in touch with their friends 24/7.
• Games offer immediate entertainment with a feeling of accomplishment.
• Video platforms stream endless content in their direction.

It’s an entire world of entertainment and interaction right at their fingertips. Little wonder it’s tough to put away!

Why Should We Worry?

Now, you might be thinking, “Okay, so kids like their phones. So what’s the big deal?” All this screen time is having some serious repercussions as far as your kid’s ability to focus goes. Let me break it down:

1. Difficulties in Concentration at School

Have you noticed your child struggling to finish their homework? It’s not just laziness. In fact, a recent study tracked that the more time kids spent on apps like TikTok, the less likely they were to do their homework.

Here’s what happens:

• Brief videos train the brain to expect quick, exciting content.
• App switching builds a habit of constant task-switching.
• Blue light from a screen may cause eye strain and fatigue.

2. Desire for Immediate Rewards

Every like, every comment, every new level reached in a game gives them that little squirt of pleasure. It’s dopamine, and it feels great. The problem? This can make it harder for them to enjoy activities that don’t give instant rewards.

For example:

• Reading a long book might feel “boring” compared to scrolling through social media.
• Practicing an instrument can feel frustrating when they don’t improve instantly.
• Even playing outside may not be as appealing as leveling up in a game.

3. Distractions During Fun Time

Even in activities that kids actually like, such as playing sports or spending time with friends, their phones can be a distraction. They might be physically there, but mentally? They’re thinking about what’s going on with their phone.

This may lead to:

• Missing out on real-life experiences and connections.
• Difficulty living in the present moment.
• Reduced pleasure taken in activities not involving screens.

4. Sleep Disorders

Here’s something you might not have considered: phones screw up your sleep, too. How?

• Blue light from screens interferes with the body’s internal cycles of sleeping and waking.
• Late-night texting or gaming tends to make bedtimes progressively later.
• A fear of missing out, for instance, may make kids check their phones even in the middle of the night.

What Can We Do About It?

All is not lost, however. There are things we can do to make the smartphone experience a little healthier for our kids—practical strategies that could help a little for Smartphone Summer:

1. Set Up No-Phone Zones

Make certain areas of your home phone-free. Here are some ideas:

• At the dinner table, kids focus on family time and real conversations.
• Not having phones in the bedroom contributes to better sleep and less late-night overuse.
• Provide an area free of distractions for homework and reading.

2. Use Technology to Fight Technology

Sounds weird, right? But there are apps that can help limit screen time. Some even make it into a game. Try these:

• Plant a virtual tree that grows when you are not on your phone. If you go on your phone, it dies!
• Let parents remotely manage screen time and app access for their kids.
• These built-in features in your iPhone and Android, respectively, will show you exactly how much time you spend on any given app.

3. Talk About It

Talk openly to your child about the use of the phone, and consider these dialogue openers:

• I sensed that you were irritated when you couldn’t check your phone during dinner. How did that feel?
• What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? What do you like about it?
• Have you ever had the feeling that you are missing out on something when not on your phone?

4. Lead by Example

Kids notice what we do. So, if we’re always on our phones, they think that’s normal. Try to model the behavior you want to see:

• Put your phone away during meals and family activities.
• Establish no-phone times throughout the day.
• Look forward to off-screen activities like reading or playing outside

5. Encourage Other Activities

Encourage your kids to pursue hobbies that require no screen. Ideas include:

• Sports are great for physical health and teamwork
• Painting, drawing, or crafting can be soothing and enhance creativity.
• Encourage this either by reading together or starting a family book club.
• Having fun while spending a lot of time together, learning a very important skill.
• Outdoor activities also include hiking, gardening, and playing in the backyard.

6. Develop a phone family plan.

Sit down together and figure out some ground rules that work for everyone. Some ideas to consider:

• No phone during meals
• All devices off an hour before bedtime
• Phones are charging overnight in a common area, not in the bedrooms.
• Designate times of the day or week as “digital-detox.”

7. Teach Digital Literacy

• Help your kids be smart consumers of digital media.
• Discussion on how Social Media Sets Unrealistic Expectations
• Discussion on online privacy and safety
• Encourage them to think critically about what they have seen online.

When Should We Get Extra Help?

Sometimes, despite all good efforts, kids may struggle. Watch out for the following signs that may just hint that this is a time to speak to a professional:

Your child is unable to focus on a single thing for more than a few minutes, even after having limited phone use.

• Their grades are falling and they have a hard time at school.
• They appear anxious or upset when unable to use their phone.
• They either have sleeping problems or complain of a lot of headaches.
• They are withdrawing from friends and family in favor of online interactions.
• You notice significant changes in their mood or behavior related to phone use.

Do not hesitate to consult with your child’s physician, a child psychologist or a counselor for further detailed advice and assistance.

Preparing for What Comes Next

With that in mind, here are some things to remember as we guide our kids through this digital world:

Balance is Key

Remember, phones and technology are not all bad; they can be great for learning, being creative and keeping in touch with friends and family. It’s just a question of balance.

Every child is different.

What works for one family may not work for another and some kids need more stringent limits, while others can cope just fine with less restraint. Be flexible and change your approach to adapt as your child matures and their needs evolve.

It’s a Learning Process

Don’t expect perfection right off the bat. There will be good days and bad days. The bottom line is to keep that conversation going, reinforcing the boundaries.

Prepare for the Future

As your children age, their relationship with technology will change. Stay tuned into new apps and online trends and adjust your strategies as your children mature and technology continues to evolve.

Concentration on the Positive

Instead of forbidding phone use, emphasize the benefits of the other activities: Allow your kids to learn how to love focusing deep into something, whether it’s reading, sports, music or anything else.

Conclusion

Raising kids in the digital age is no small task. It’s okay if you feel overwhelmed from time to time—we are all figuring this out together. By staying involved, keeping the lines of communication open and being willing to make changes ourselves, we’re better able to help kids develop a healthy relationship with technology.

It’s not about taking away phones from their lives but teaching them to use technology to enrich life, not distract them from the more important things. We can help our children thrive in this digital world with patience, understanding, and just a bit of creativity while developing the right focus and concentration needed to be successful.

Authored By

Shebna N Osanmoh I, PMHNP-BC

September 4, 2024

Shebna N Osanmoh is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner with extensive experience across the mental health spectrum. Holding a Master’s in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing from Walden University, Shebna provides compassionate, culturally sensitive care for a wide range of mental health conditions, emphasizing holistic and individualized treatment approaches to support patients in their wellness journey.