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Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall: Reflection, Intention, & Regenerate

smiling on mirror As the year comes to a close, even if we are technically mid-December, the days counting toward January 2019 is around the corner. When we are surrounded by those we love and those who love us, we revel in the moments shared, then when the laughter ceases, the meals are now left overs, and the magic of the season starts to settle in, we often look inward.

We often find ourselves reflecting on how we did this year, our successes, our failures, our challenges, and our faults- But what we don’t often acknowledge are the little seeds of growth that has been planted this year. Reflecting on the ripple effects, we tend to forget about, provides us with unwavering hope for our future.

Seeing our reflections in the mirror and realizing the person who we see is not who we remember or thought we would be after all these years can be daunting and often very stressful. This stress or unfinished business that we place upon ourselves drives us to create New Year resolutions. These resolutions are not by any means negative or “bad” rather all that we wish for our future going forward.

Looking in the mirror, who do you see looking back at you? Do you see someone else? Perhaps a stranger, someone whom you have yet to know well, someone you present yourself as to the world, and yet there is your own conscience, your own judgements that fill your head and your heart with expectations, with contemplations, with all-or-nothing decisions. You may also see the reflection of your truest self, accepting all that comes with you- shadows, light, inadequacies, insecurities, hope, love, compassion, kindness, and for some the growth over the years that keep you coming back to see your reflection at the end of the year.

What You See is What You Get
Reflections

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I know that the image that stares back at me in the mirror often is judged, ridiculed, sometimes (rarely) praised, but mostly looked at in wonderment.

Where did the time fly? Noticing the details and uniqueness of your facial expression when you first see your reflection in the mirror, do you smile or tend to focus on something you want to change?

I’ve come to realize that we live our lives in cyclic rhythms where when our hearts are full and our souls are fed, smiles on our faces radiate this; but as joyous moments are, they are just that…fleeting moments in time that then requires us to anchor down back into our lives.

I have come to a place in my life where I will say, what you see is what you get, and truly believe that my life will continuously be a work in progress. If you had met me twenty years ago, eager to take on the world, create my “adult” life, carve out what I would like to do; our conversations would be different but the one thing that would remain constant is that my anchor, my drive is harnessed in learning how to help others cope, heal, and navigate this life we live with compassion, love, kindness and gratitude for ourselves.

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My life rhythm is torqued by forging connections with others, creating dialogue, expressing our emotions, thoughts, feelings, building each other up and helping pick up the pieces to create our unique mosaics. I am broken, but choose to let the light through and go forward with intention. We often see broken things as an unsalvageable situation; where now is the time to shift perspective is seeing “broken” as an opportunity to let the light, love and kindness into your heart.

Unforeseeable situations, tragedies, challenges, and inequities glitter through our lives without any warning. When these events take a hold of our lives, we seem to hold on to them.
There continues to be this underlying obligation to make things “all good” again- but in reflecting back this year, I challenge you to find anchors that have helped you cope this year.
It could be a song or an album, a specific smell that brings you to a happy place and warms your heart, or a memory that simply makes you smile. We often search for what we could have done more of or what we can do for the coming year, but we rarely acknowledge the grounding moments that allowed us to get through 2018.

The Power of Acceptance & Forgiveness of Self
Intentions

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Creeping closer and closer to 2019, we think of our potential resolutions, to help draw us back to a “new” beginning, able to start once again to reach our goals. For 2019, try to lead with acceptance and forgiveness, for yourself and all that you have gone through this year. You may want start a journal or a sketchbook for your words and doodles; beginning at the end of the previous year. It is a new beginning, everyday- This New Year Just solidifies that 2018 has happened.

There is an innate power in forgiving yourself and accepting that you can always choose to make changes for yourself. Slight changes can grow into life lessons. Then realizing that forgiving does not mean forgetting, rather accepting what has happened and deciding to forge forward with intention.

Celebrate the little things in life that make you smile, laugh, cry, and even moments you felt we of defeat, see them now as lessons to help nurture this precious life of yours.

Going by Mary Oliver’s words, “Instructions for living a life. Pay Attention. Be Astonished. Tell about it,” spawns from the idea of being present in your life, setting intentions and telling your story. We circle back, each year, wanting to be astonished. Look back at your 2018 and see the intentions you’ve made and those that you want to continue to pursue. Our intentions are often created to protect our hearts, souls and humanity by creating a plan, a direction to steer our lives. The reflections you see are ever changing, are never the same, and will always be you. Accept, forgive and create intentions not as each New Year approaches, but as you see fit to navigate your life. Set your intentions daily and be present to see what happens when you nurture them.

Regenerate

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I could have said “renewal” “New Beginnings” “Start Over” but the fact of the matter is we do not start with a clean slate, we build on our experiences, our relationships, friendships, hardships, or misfortunes…so, I say Regenerate our lives so that we can continue to grow from our past.

It’s been several years now that I’ve been looking back at my past and seeing that what I truly wanted in life is right in front of me. How I choose to be present for myself and those around me continues to be an adventure and a process. I have found a fierceness within my soul that is a force to be reckoned with. A phenomenal fierceness that helps me create my daily intentions has regenerated my perspective about how I plan to live a purposeful life.

Regenerate relationships, igniting the passion and fire that is comforted by company, friendship and companionship. Find what feeds you, what fuels your curiosities and what sparks your imagination. Breathe in life, listen to the sounds around you, be silent, be aware, bathe in the light and darkness, follow your heart.

Words are powerful. They speak directly to your heart, your mind and your soul. Speak kindly to yourself, find acceptance and forgiveness within your own inner workings and regenerate so that we can continue to learn from one another.

I often visualize my process of regeneration much like the emotional blend of laughter through tears, which is one of my favorite moments, because it is proof that we can weather storms and still see our rainbows when we let the light in.

You are good enough. You belong. You are phenomenally fierce.
Remember this, doubt will try to sneak in, let it pass- You’ve got this 2019!

Written by Pia Crosby, Marriage and Family Therapist, On Dec 14, 2018

Pia Crosby is licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who practices therapy with groups, couples, individuals and families for over 10 years. She has worked in several schools and high schools as a Psychotherapist. Pia Crosby believes that mental health is an integral part of the overall health and must be considered as a priority.